i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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