When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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