Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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