Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
