apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
