Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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