Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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