put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
