Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
