You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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