Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
