I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
