we're blogging at a bar
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
