I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
