The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
