His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
