Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
