you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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