so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My breasts were aching with rage.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
