I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
