Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
