and you said cock pushups were impossible
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
