I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
