Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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