I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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