I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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