Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
