I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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