my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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