Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
