Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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