The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
