its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
