I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
