I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Semen is not good for contacts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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