she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Pants are for mortals
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
