I showed him my bush... on skype.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
