Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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