you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
