I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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