We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
