I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
