I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
