these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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