why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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