In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
