Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
