i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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