Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
