he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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