We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
